Get dem littl doggies dancin y’all. *throws lasso in the air and spins it wildly creating a dust storm* It’s the wild west Cowboys & Anipals #Pawpawty. Yee ha!
‘Horse Trader Henry’, who you may know as @HenryTheCat2002, was flat out supplying each pal with their own pawty horse. Of course no one knew how to ride a horse, but Henry just laughed and told pals, “It’s easy!” Maybe it was Henry’s 50-gallon hat or his red Versace silk cravat, or the way his fur stripes seem to blend with his cravat, but everyone decided riding must be easy if Henry says so.
It was most embarrassing when I arrived to collect my horse, and Henry had “sold out.” *groan* I could barely be a big-shot “Sparkalicious” Cowboy and ‘walk’ into town! Good grief. After much paw wringing, Henry helped me out by carving me my own Henry original: wooden horse. It was great, except I could only canter very slowly, in small circles.
I may have used a tad too much starch in my Cowboy outfit. My shirt was so crisp I was unable to bend my arms, but luckily my jeans were not starched, or I may not have been able to walk.
The Good, the Bad and the Beautiful all gathered at the Saloon to dodge the giant tumbleweeds. Between falling off horses, stabbing ourselves with our own spurs and choking on dust, we all had a great time. *chews a stick of straw and almost chokes*
The Saloon Dance Hall lady-pals strutted around in scanty little outfits of sequins and feathers. They assured me the red lighting was only to aid their complexion. *quizzical face* @AutumnTheDoxie sat outside the Saloon, wearing her ‘come hither’ stare, with matching pink cowgirl hat and sequin collar. She quickly had a line of cowboy pals eager to buy her Bacontinis.
Right after the vat of Hooch exploded, just before a riot was about to happen, the entertainment arrived: @InformedFerret galloped into town just in time. When they sang “Campfire Serenade”, pals all swayed back and forth, singing along with their words: “Little critter cowboys, lift your Bacontinis and dream; all of the doggies are in the corral; don’t squat with your spurs on; just close your eyes and dream littl’ pals.”
Then all the horses tied up outside all joined in and sang the chorus: “Boom, boom, boom, boom,boom, boom, boom, boom Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.” And we all kept singing along with @InformedFerret: “Bacon cubes left in a trail, hotter than a stolen tamale, he’s riding a gravy train with biscuit wheels, so, jam up and jelly tight”. *coyotes in the background all howling*
@ToughTeddyBear arrived in show-stopping form. He’d been up all night polishing his “silverware” on his saddlery and giant belt buckle. It was unfortunate that sitting on his stunning horse, his shiny belt buckle acted as giant mirror, causing spot fires every where he went, each time he left the Saloon. Sekurity followed him everywhere, carrying buckets of water, just to be safe.
@HellaHedgie plucked a spike for a plectrum and amazed everyone with his Banjo recitals. Unfortunately sekurity was needed to assist @ToughTeddyBear when his spurs got tangled, as he was dancing to Hedgie’s wild banjo playing. Teddy was carried off, but returned later, minus his spurs. It is the first time I have witnessed Band-Aids, or sticky plasters, as fashion items. Teddy’s legs were covered in them (from stabbing himself with his own spurs.) Not sure it will catch on though.
When the raucous settled, Miss Lexie, @Dogstoyevsky brazenly strutted onto the saloon dance floor and stunned everyone in her seductive outfit. One old timer’s ticker couldn’t take it and he was heard screaming the word “Jezebel”, but sekurity quickly dragged him out and plonked him in a horse trough. Not everyone can handle their hooch; besides, some of the old timer’s tickers make them act crazy.
It wasn’t the helmet or the cigar that caused the outrage. But the combination of the gold-plated cowgirls boots, with the Victorian Secrets push-up brassiere, combined with the red flower of seduction and the gold-nugget-collar that made the cowboy pals go nuts. When Lexie stood in front of the fan and pressed the “on” button, her long hair began flowing in the breeze, as she seductively swiveled her head from side to side. In a husky voice, she whispered: “Bacon.” It was embarrassing to see how many tough boy cowboy pals fell into the sawdust shavings, unable to resist the thought of bacon.
It was another great #Pawpawty, where the golden rule always applies: ya dance with da one dat brung ya! BOL ! While I can confirm cardboard is definitely still the new black, I cannot confirm sticky plasters will trend in Europe. *strikes a pose* *strut**strut**strut**strut*