Hi pals, is me again Lexie with annuva lex-i-con for you. Dis is da place to come if you wants to know bout words, languages, customs and expresshuns. You can use dis in your everyday life anytime wot suits you. Has you human done somfink a bit weird (dat is a given)? See if it listed in da lex-i-con. Dus your know your ‘#ww’ from your ‘#ff”? No? Den dis the place for you!

Dis time we is gonna look at hoomins and the machines. Dunno bout your hoomin, but Oh my DOG mine dus luv a flippin machine they dus. Can’t move for the bloddy fings all ova da place. They luvs to plug fings in, switch fings on, heat fings up, cool fings down, mix fings up, make a mess and tidy it up again. Let me tell ya, is hard work just wotchin em. Here’s wot I dus know.

The Mower

On a Sunday, instead of layin in bed and relaxin wiv a sossidge or three, in da summer lots of hoomins panic coz they wonderin if the ‘grass is too long’. They goes to the shed and bring out dis fing wot dus eat all da grass for dem. Dey gets it and dey goes up and down, up and down. They has to do this every week! When I first saw dis fing I wonder, dus they be shavin da grass an gonna maybe eat it later? I is partial to a bit of grass meself so I fort maybe dat mus be it. But no, then they eiva frow it away or put in a heap so it goes all smelly! Den they dus it all over again da next week heehee ). Why dussn’t they get a goat or I could invite some pals round to av a chew maybe?

Now, my advice ere is try to elp by chewin a bit ere and there. Or, pee on da grass an it dies anyway! Dat is ANSWER, maybe hooomins should pee on it too. Wot you fink?

The Oven

Now dis cracks me up (oh dat mean larf). Guess what? Hoomins put fings into dis big square fing wot gets all hot. They puts fings in and then … they takes em out again bout arf hour later. On Sundays they puts lots of fings in — they dus smelly nommy I gotta say. Dis fing dus calle itself OVEN. Great fing bout the oven is dat it has a window in da front wot you can look in and see da nommy stuff waitin to come out and tempt you ). (Impawtant safety tip ere: dussnt touch da oven wiv your paws is very hot!)

When da fings come out of da oven is your chance to strike! Follow da hooomins (sometimes they sit at a table and use cuttelry and plates) and stare, really stare! If you is lucky, they will give in an drop a few morsels your way, or, and dis appen more often than not for me, you gets to lick da plates after. Oh pals I can’t recommend dis enuff. You can see I has trained ma hoomins to give me da spoilts from my pal OVEN!

Well, dat is a wrap as dey says in da movies! Dussnt forget to give me your tips on humans. More tips from me, next time!

Tagged as: cook, grass, lawn, mow, mowing, oven, spoils