♫If you see me walking down the street
And I start to cry each time we meet
Walk on by, walk on by…

In this, the third installment in a five-part series, we’ll examine some of the reasons a regular Person, just like yours and mine, can fall into that particular abyss called homelessness.

We’ll see how just a few unfortunate events can precipitate a rapid spiral and appreciate why we may not automatically assume a causal relationship to addiction or mental illness.

I almost wish sometimes I did have a past drug problem, or an alcohol problem or was a paroled felon, or mentally ill–something that would make all of this make even a little bit of sense.

We’ll call her MisSD.

No one ever says “I want to be a convenience store cashier when I grow up. Or a customer service representative at Check-Into-Cash or a drug addict or a homeless person when I grow up”.  No one ever says that.  No one.

MisSD had a typical beginning like People everywhere.  She had a mother. There were siblings. The family was not close and the beat goes on. She graduated at the top of her class in high school, went on to graduate college.

She danced to Motown, and suffered through disco. She loves antiques and architecture, yard sales and Asian cuisine.  She reads books and writes blogs.  She’s a bit of a gadget geek.  That’s not atypical.

I have my memories. I love music, and film, and theater and the arts. I still love Bugs Bunny. I still know how to office; how to be a person who works. I still have a view of myself as a person who works. And I can still read and speak, and listen, and learn. I’m whole. I’m a whole person. I’m not different in any way at all that matters, except now I sleep in my car with my dog.

MisSD’s emergency housing options are limited with a dog.  There is no such thing as a dog-friendly shelter. Giving up her dog, however, is out of the question.

I love him.

She falls silent. That’s all she says.

The Descent

She looks so normal. If you saw her walking down the street, you wouldn’t think anything out of the ordinary, especially with a handsome, stubby-legged, smiling bulldog tugging at the end of a leash. A Person might even decide she’s not altogether unattractive.

MisSD’s descent into homelessness began in November 2008.  That’s the last time she’s held a full-time paying position.

Like thousands of office workers living in Southern California, MisSD was a contract worker. The prevailing attitude among many here in San Diego at least, is that it’s a unique and special privilege just to be alive here. People worship the weather.  That’s the first and only thing that immediately comes to mind whenever you ask someone–anyone– what they most like about their lives here.

America’s Finest City

San Diego has a disturbing, secret corporate culture as well–a culture of filling positions with contract or temporary office workers, even on the professional level. It’s a rather insidious practice. One the media, most notably NPR, is only now just beginning to focus marginal attention on.

Potential employees are subject to a grueling, even cruel hiring process. They are compelled to expend time, physical and emotional energy, and strain limited financial resources, persevering through multiple interviews; sitting down at maroon-colored oval tables with a hiring committee that may number three or more–all for a job that pays $10.00, is a temporary or contract position, and that may not even offer any health, medical or life insurance benefits.

Thousands labor daily within gleaming high-rises in immaculately landscaped executive office parks without health or medical benefits or accrued vacation. Contract workers, living in constant fear and insecurity, knowing each passing day could be their last, may be subjected to added humiliation, being excluded from attending company social functions like Christmas parties, Fourth of July barbeque bashes, and outings.  They are often not even compensated with a prevailing wage. They’re treated like serfs in a fiefdom.

MisSD was one such contract worker.

I worked as an accounts receivables clerk for a leading biotechnologies company headquartered in North County for four years.

Many companies doing business in California operate under a non-negotiable “at-will” policy.  This means you may terminate your employment relationship with the employer at any time and for any reason.  The employer will generally ask for and expect notification of your intent to leave their employ, however, usually at least a two-week notice.

Conversely, though, employers can fire you for whatever excuse and whenever they want; and this without notice if they can legally get away with it. That’s the beauty of filling an office with disposable employees.  Since the contract worker is not an employee, they and/or their  position may be terminated on a moment’s notice, without cause or worse, for reasons that may even be actionable in a court of law.

After Thanksgiving

I arrived at my desk at 8 am on Monday morning after the long Thanksgiving holiday to find all my things gone and my desk had been cleared.  Even the chair was gone.  People in the surrounding cubicles began scurrying away at the sight of me.

MisSD’s liaison at the  temporary employment office that booked her assignment had gotten married only the week before and had been out of the office.  The biotechnologies supervisor merely left a message on her voicemail. Mercifully, the liaison picked up the message at around 8 am and telephoned MisSD.

Like thousands of  workers faced with an unexpected termination, filing for unemployment benefits did not immediately come to mind.

The Christmas holiday season was in full swing and the country was fully engulfed in the throes of the 21st century Great Depression.  Still, I was optimistic I would find another job or at the very least, be assigned another assignment.

That did not happen. In February 2009, MisSD filed an unemployment insurance claim. She received her first (in what surely must be the worst euphemism ever) unemployment “benefit” in April. But by then, she had fallen into another kind of great depression.

Another Kind Of Landscape

I lost forty pounds. I felt exhausted *all* the time. There was a physical heaviness I cannot explain to this day. It was as though there was a paper bag over my head and I could not see my way out of it. Every page in the playbook of my life had been shredded like confetti and tossed straight up in the air.  All I could do was watch as tiny pieces  floated down around me. What to put back together first?  How do I start all over?

And the job search landscape had changed dramatically as well.

It was as though while I wasn’t looking, there was a seismic shift in human resource and employment expectations. The search protocols had all changed. Then,  I was not familiar with Facebook or Twitter. People were talking about video resumes and travelling to networking conferences. It was all so exhausting. I was overwhelmed. It seemed I was not enough anymore.

I never had a network. Ever in my entire life. And with my dog, now for the first time in my life, I have something. I know he’s a dog. I know that. But he’s all I have in this world.

♫Walk on by, walk on by
Foolish pride
Is all that I have left
So let me hide

Walk on by (don’t stop)
and walk on by (don’t stop)
and walk by (don’t stop)

MisSD has exhausted three UI extensions.  This was not reckless.  In December 2009, @NoShelterDog suddenly went limp at the dog park.

TPLO

I managed to save $1600. I was planning to start a business with a franchise seller of children’s books. I wanted to build a website. I still had another three months of UI benefits before my third extension ran out so I was looking down this road anyway. But I hoped getting the website up and running would somehow offer me a stay of execution.

Instead, NoShelterDog required immediate surgery.

It all happened so fast.

She rushed NoShelterDog to her vet who, upon examining the x-rays, referred her to an animal hospital some 60 miles (one way) from his office.

Hindsight being 20/20, I guess I should have just stopped to breathe and think. There’s something to be said about having a multitude of counselors.

Upon arriving at the animal hospital in Fountain Valley, California, NoShelterDog was examined by the Chief of Surgery. The diagnosis: a rupture of the cranial cruciate ligament.

Normally, the CrCL prevents backward-forward movement of the joint. When it tears, the joint becomes unstable and the dog suffers acute lameness. Left untreated, the condition can develop into chronic progressive arthritis in the stifle.

The recommended procedure:  Tibial plateau leveling osteotomy or TPLO surgery.

In a TPLO procedure, the tibial plateau, the portion of the tibia adjoining the stifle, is cut and rotated so that its slope changes to approximately 5 degrees from the horizontal plane. This prevents the femur from sliding down the slope of the plateau.

I was paying attention, but I was in a daze. But as soon as I heard, the word “painful” everything just sort of went white. He wasn’t acting painful at all. There was no whining, no whimpering, but his eyes…  When I looked into his eyes, I didn’t see my bright, shiny, happy boy.

This surgery generally results in faster recovery compared to other procedures to stabilize the knee. Most dogs (over 90%) regain a very active and athletic lifestyle with no post-operative complications and without the need for any pain relieving medication.

She signed the papers authorizing the surgery and handed over her last $1500 dollars.

Ch.., Ch.., Ch.., Ch.., Changes

In February she told her landlord she would be moving out the end of the month. She sold all her worldly belongings at a yard sale. Much of that money went towards NoShelterDog’s aftercare. On 1 March, they spent their first night in their SUV in the parking lot at Edwards Cinema.

She learned about Brother Benno’s, and I learned about the San Diego Humane Society and SPCA’s Project KEPPT.

With San Diego’s economy in the throes of this tough recession, many people are facing difficult financial times and making tough decisions about providing for their companion animals.

San Diego Humane Society and SPCA (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) Project KEPPT (Keeping Every Person and Pet Together) is supporting hundreds of area residents each month by providing education, services, and resources to help them keep their animals and dignify the human-animal bond.

Project KEPPT offers an affordable spay/neuter program, resources to find pet-friendly housing and a pet food bank. Additionally, Project KEPPT  provides affordable vaccinations and microchipping, resources for veterinary financial assistance and animal behavioral management assistance.

Area residents are also able to apply for services throughout the week or during Project KEPPT Day, which is the first Sunday of every month. Project KEPPT is completely funded by donations from the public.

It’s been four months.  They can’t live in a car forever.

Like me, NoShelterDog is an English bulldog. Summer is not a friend of the bulldog.  We are not dogs that handle heat well. The cold nights are also a concern. Despite MisSD’s best intentions, all the love and physical resources in the world are not going to assuage the effects of the summer’s heat. Of this MisSD is painfully aware.

I’m scared. Yes, I’m scared. I’m scared I am going to have to make the decision to give him up. But the thought is so abhorrent to me. For me it would be like having an abortion. If that is someone else’s choice, I make no judgments, but I couldn’t do that.

You hear about people surrendering their pets at shelters every day. God knows that must be an agonizing drive home for all those poor people. I hope I don’t have to be one of them. I could be one of them.

Coming soon in The Anipal Times:  What’s Next?