Dr. V

I once had a client who would come in with his very overweight miniature dachshund. The complaint was always the same; painful tummy, vomiting, and other signs consistent with pancreatitis.

“What does Snookie eat?” I asked.

“Well, every day we go to the KFC drive through,” he told me proudly, “and I buy her some chicken.”

“And what else?” I prompted.

Silence.

“You know you have to feed Snookie something other than just KFC, right?” I asked. More silence.

“She won’t eat anything else,” he sighed.

Now I know some of you anipals are reading this with a guilty expression on your face. Yes, you. You have their number. All you have to do, you think, is poke the kibble around in the bowl for a day or so, look longingly at the dinner table, and whine a little. Two seconds later mom’s in the kitchen making you a bowl of hamburger. Victory is yours.

I have your number too, guys. I know it hurts to hear it, but just like with us pesky humans, weight is the most common issue we have to deal with. And I know those treats are delicious, but I worry about you all. I see pancreatitis, heart disease, and bone disease every day. And you know what happens if you have any of those? All those treats have to disappear and you have to go on one of those bland prescription diets.

So let’s make a deal, ok? You see those people at the table eating the green stuff that you always turn your nose up at? They do that so they can enjoy the good stuff. Eat your dog food, drag your people on a walk or two, and try to dial down on the “I’m starving” theatrics. If you do that, I promise to tell your parents it’s OK for you to have a piece of (unfried) chicken now and then. But if you don’t, I’m telling them to feed you that soy-based vegetarian diet. And no one wants that.

You can visit Dr. V online at Pawcurious.com and on Twitter @pawcurious.